Finding Happiness: Writing

The pursuit of happiness is not the same for anyone. We all find happiness in various, and different places. One that I am trying to recapture has been writing.

Once upon a time, I used to be able to sit for hours--HOURS--writing. I would get so engrossed in the worlds I created that I sometimes even forgot to do basic things: like eating. While not necessarily healthy, it was enjoyable. I absolutely loved it! I mainly wrote fiction works, but any writing project made me ecstatic. Paper for school? Not a problem. Poetry? Loved it! Fan fictions? Oh yeah, I was in that area too!

And then one day...it just...stopped.

The ideas and stories were still there (and still are) in my head. Yet the desire to do the actual action of writing was...gone. Poof! Just like that...

...What happened...?

Looking back, I'm not really sure what exactly happened. I could blame school, I could blame my mild (self-diagnosed) depression that hit two years into my bachelor's degree studies, but really...I just don't know.

I would write rarely, and then it felt forced. The story wouldn't flow like it once did, description became hard to write, and new characters (not the old, familiar faces-thankfully) were lacking. Stories that had once flowed from my fingertips to the page halted. I knew WHERE I wanted the story to go...but how was I going to get there?

No answer.

Research papers, while still fairly easy, lacked the enthusiasm I once had. All of the joy seemed to have been sapped away.

Today, I am slowly working on this issue. I still love to write! What I need to recapture is the motivation! That's where this comes in.

Yes, you got it. This blog. The readers of the this blog. All of it, are working to help me find my happiness in writing again. Right now, I can say that it's been successful thus far!

Why though?

I believe the answer to that is simple: I have set days to post. Not every day, which would feel overwhelming to me, as I tend to take on too much at any given time, but twice a week. Easy to do. Heck, I could even write up posts ahead of time (if I wasn't such a procrastinator...). With this easily achievable task of posting twice a week, and with the days being reasonably spaced out, I am not stressed or pressured to write. Pressure and stress, I'm learning, kills creativity of any sort.

The next reason is that I am not trying to be anybody but me as I write. I am not trying to mimic a different author's style (and while a good exercise, can be draining), nor am I trying to create my own world and rules (which can be exhausting in its own way when aspects of it are questioned). It's just me and you all having a little one-sided chat (unless you comment, then it's not so one sided).

And the final reason I will give is that while I sometimes do research for my posts, it's at my pace. Sure I have deadlines in regards to posting dates, but if I want to call it a day after an hour or so, I can. I don't have to keep looking for sources right then and there. I think between external pressures ,like school, and my own (ex. thinking I had to update a fan-fiction every day), that I just overwhelmed myself, and that is a definite killer of joy.

To sum it all up in one word: relaxed. This blog helps me to unwind. It aids me in re-finding my happiness in writing by allowing me to explore it at my own pace, in the time that my life, currently, allows. Thank you all for being apart of that by reading this blog!

Till the next time!